I can ‘bearly’ believe this story

🦴 A robot dog is patrolling Trump’s Mar-a-Lago: “Spot” is unarmed and has a “Do not pet” sign on each leg. The Secret Service isn’t saying what it’s being used for, but with cameras, thermal sensors and a $75,000 price tag, surveillance to protect the President-elect is obvious — he needs it.

Peak viewership for the Mike Tyson and Jake Paul boxing match on Netflix last Friday. Despite being the company’s biggest-ever livestreamed event, there were so many connection problems. Jake, who won the fight, admitted they crashed Netflix.

Big Bluesky: Over a million people have joined X competitor Bluesky since the election. It’s a top free app on Apple’s App Store and Google Play now; Meta’s Threads is at No. 2, with 11 million active users. Heck, even X has grown by 5% since Election Day.

Stupid celebrity stuff: Sofia Richie, model and daughter of music legend Lionel Richie, spilled on a podcast her five-month-old daughter, Eloise, has her own smartphone and is a sassy texter. Mom and caregivers obviously do the texting for Eloise. One question: Why don’t they put the phone down, talk to the baby and enjoy the moment?

👽 Convenient cover-up? A lot of folks are mistaking Starlink Internet satellites for unexplained anomalous phenomena (UAPs), the new term for UFOs. Starlink’s 6,600 satellites move across the sky in trains and look like gleaming gems, so they’re easy to spot for the naked eye. Of course, some think the government found the ultimate excuse for — dun, dun, dun! — alien sightings!

🎄 This is soda-pressing: Coca-Cola’s new “Holidays are Coming” commercial was made entirely with AI. Gone are the real actors and trucks decked out in Christmas lights. Comments online called the ad “garbage,” “ugly,” “too niche” and “lazy.” One X user said, “I feel like I’m watching the death of art and our planet unfold in front of my eyes.” OK, that’s a little much. Watch it here and tell me what you think.

Hey, baller: Starting Dec. 4, Disney+ is adding free ESPN content. You’ll see certain live sports events, studio shows, series and documentaries right in the Disney+ app. If you pay for the Disney+, Hulu and ESPN+ bundle, you can watch ESPN+ content in Disney+, too.

😔 Tragic accident: Four people died after their Tesla Model Y crashed into a pillar and burst into flames. A bystander smashed a window open, saving a fifth passenger. So sad. If you have a Tesla, watch this video so you know how to open the doors when there’s no power.

💧 The FDA is recalling 150,000 bottles of water: Berkeley Springs Water Purified and Berkeley Springs Water Distilled in 1- and 5-gallon formats may be contaminated with bacteria. Check for codes 090326, 090426, 090526 and 090626 on the side of the bottle. If yours is a match, throw it out.

🥊 What a sh*tshow: It wasn’t just you. Netflix crashed throughout the Mike Tyson vs. Jake Paul livestream. From the start of the undercard, anyone watching around the world lost sound, while the feeds buffered and image quality dropped to pixelated mush. Netflix slapped up a message to “check your internet connection.” I have serious doubts the internet would hold up in an emergency.