📱 Welcome to your Thursday, friend. Ever wonder what the first-ever cell phone call said? It happened on this day back in 1973. Was it … A.) “Hello?” B.) “Can you hear me now?” C.) “I’m calling you from a real cell phone.” or D.) “This is a joke, right?” Take a guess, and you’ll find the answer at the end.

Panic when you can’t find your phone? You’re not alone. Whether it’s under the couch or left at a restaurant, today’s Deep Dive is for you. You’ll thank me later. — Kim

Oh, that familiar quick pat of the pockets and the spike of panic when you realize your phone is no longer on your person. Maybe it’s in the car. Maybe you left it at the coffee shop. You open Find My Phone. 

It’s too late, you might as well be looking for a TI-84 calculator. If your phone isn’t prepped ahead of time, you might never get it back. 

Let’s break it down, whether you’re on Team iPhone or Android.

🍎 iPhone: “Find My” can’t work on vibes alone

Apple’s Find My iPhone is your digital bloodhound, but it needs to be activated before disaster strikes. 

Here’s how to turn it on:

1. Go to Settings, Tap your name and then Find My. 
2. Toggle on three things: Find My iPhone, Find My Network and Send Last Location. This one sends your last location when the battery’s about to die.

Next, do this: 

1. Set a 6-digit passcode and toggle on Face ID or Touch ID.
2. Go to Settings > Face ID & Passcode > toggle on Erase Data.

🧨 You can remotely erase your iPhone by visiting iCloud.com/find, selecting your device and choosing “Erase iPhone.” 

🤖 Android: Where’s my phone

Unless you set up Find My Device before it disappeared, you’re basically shaking your couch cushions and praying. 

Here are basic steps (they might be different depending on your make and model): 

1. Open Settings > Security > Find My Device.
2. Toggle it on.
3. Go to android.com/find and sign in to test it. Btw, you can also remotely erase your device if it’s lost or stolen here. Now you see my data, and now you don’t.

📍 Pro tip: Enable Location History (Settings > Location > Google Location History), which will drop digital breadcrumbs in case your battery dies.

⚠️ Go the extra mile

1. Rename your phone to something helpful. Mine? “My little phoney – Reward if found.” It shows up when connected to Wi-Fi or a charger.
2. Create a custom lock screen message. iPhone: Use Canva or the built-in Photos app. Save it and set it as your lock screen wallpaper (Settings > Wallpaper). Android: Settings > Display > Lock screen > Add text.
3. Register your IMEI number. Dial *#06# and take a screenshot. Store it securely; carriers and police can use this number to block or track a stolen device, even if the SIM card is removed. Works on both Apple and Android.

No one plans to lose their phone. But if you do, better it texts you for help than the other way around.

📋 Ready to tackle your to-do list? I’ve got the tools to help you get it done.

• Look picture-perfect on video calls with a ring light (5% off) for your laptop.
• Don’t forget a laptop stand (6% off), so you don’t hunch over your screen.
• This seat cushion (38% off) gives your back the support it deserves.
• Need a hand? Get an ergonomic mouse (21% off) for a happy wrist.
• Say goodbye to your messy desk with these drawer organizers (38% off).
• Snag an under-desk elliptical ($170) and get your steps in.

I order supplements online: They’re more affordable that way, and I never run out. On my daily list: collagen. Hit this link for 45% off NativePath.* Their collagen mixes into coffee and smoothies, and it’s great for your joints and recovery.

📞 Scammers posing as IRS agents: Just ask Brad, who got a call saying he misfiled his taxes and owed over $800 or else he could face jail time. The scammer knew his address and wife’s name, and Brad ended up giving him access to his bank account. PSA: The IRS never calls or texts. If it’s legit, it comes by mail.

🍏 Fresh Apple: It’s time to hit that update button for new Apple features. For iPhones, Priority Notifications helps you see urgent messages first. On your Mac, the Mail app can automatically sort your inbox. Plus, Quick Start lets you set up a new Mac by holding your iPhone nearby. Those last two have been on iPhones and iPads for a while. About time, right? Click here for all the updates.

Not all “Hey, babe” DMs are created equal: Oh, shocker! Two guys are suing OnlyFans because, brace yourself, they weren’t actually chatting with the models they subscribed to. Turns out, some creators outsource fan messages. That flirty “I love your cooking 🥺” message was probably written by Chad in a WeWork. 

Oh, this quote: Remember when Roblox’s CEO basically said, “If you can’t watch your kids, don’t let them play Roblox.” That was a PR disaster. So Roblox now lets parents block specific friends from their kid’s account. Basically the digital version of “I don’t like that kid, he’s a bad influence.” 

🛍️ Buy Now, Pay Later is now Buy Now, Regret Publicly: The WSJ (paywalled) says credit bureaus have officially started tracking your “Buy Now, Pay Later” shopping. So yes, that $89 “ergonomic” beanbag you split into four payments? It might now haunt your credit report. Suddenly, Klarna feels a lot less like a fun hack and more like a fiscal breadcrumb trail leading directly to your FICO score.

United’s getting Starlink Wi-Fi: And it sounds pretty good. The first customer flight gets it by May, and the airline plans to upgrade 40 planes a month, with 300+ jets getting it by year’s end. It’s supposedly 50 times faster than the current painfully slow onboard Wi-Fi. Free for MileagePlus members. Now if only the snacks were this impressive.

⚾ Bat boy vs. drone: America’s new pastime: It’s not the worst thing to happen to baseball, but it’s up there. During an A’s vs. Cubs game, a rogue drone buzzed the outfield. While security stood around shrugging, a lone hero, a 22-year-old bat boy Stewart Thalblum sprang into action. Armed with nothing but a Louisville Slugger and zero hesitation, he whacked the drone out of the sky. No injuries, no lawsuits, just one less robot in the air. 

⚡️3-second tech genius: Use “.new” in your browser. Try doc.new, sheet.new to open a new Google file fast. 

Create separate Netflix profiles: Netflix recommends content based on what you watch, so don’t let kids’ cartoons or your partner’s thrillers mess with your rom-com queue. Go to Manage Profiles > Add Profile > Name it > Continue > Save. Bonus: It also makes it easier to keep track of what they’ve been watching.

🎬 Put “cut” in shortcut: Need to record your screen? On a Mac, press Shift + Cmd + 5. You can grab your entire screen or select just a part of it to leave something out. For Windows 11, hit the Windows logo key + Shift + R to open the Snipping Tool and start recording.

Unlock the Disney+ vault: Just type these secret codes into the search bar. If you’re in the mood for a Marvel trailer, enter 78654. Looking for a good laugh? Try 79008 for some hilarious Star Wars bloopers.

⛽ Save at the pump: Find the cheapest gas on the Waze app (Apple, Android). Just search “gas near me,” tap the gear icon on the right > Sort stations by > Price. Pro tip: Stations close to highways are always pricier.

The answer: C.) Marty Cooper stood on a New York City sidewalk, pulled out a massive 2.5-pound brick of a phone, about 10 inches tall, and dialed up his rival at Bell Labs. What did he say? “I’m calling you from a real cell phone.”

😳 Mic drop. Bell Labs was betting big on car phones. They couldn’t imagine anyone actually walking around with a phone in their pocket. That first mobile phone? It had 20 minutes of battery life, took 10 hours to charge and would cost over $4,000 in today’s money. In Sunday’s newsletter, I’ll tell you what your next smartphone will look like.

Speaking of competitors … I created a site so much better than Reddit. Its failure was poetic, given the name. I called it “Blueit.” (Is that you shaking your head? Come on, let’s see you write great jokes for free!)

🙏🏻 Thank you for letting me in your inbox. I have some great fun coming in tomorrow’s newsletter. You’re not going to want to miss it. Why? Your brain is the best processor, keep upgrading it. — Kim

📣 Don’t keep me a secret: with friends (or copy URL here)