$10,000 an hour

⚾ Bat boy vs. drone: America’s new pastime: It’s not the worst thing to happen to baseball, but it’s up there. During an A’s vs. Cubs game, a rogue drone buzzed the outfield. While security stood around shrugging, a lone hero, a 22-year-old bat boy Stewart Thalblum sprang into action. Armed with nothing but a Louisville Slugger and zero hesitation, he whacked the drone out of the sky. No injuries, no lawsuits, just one less robot in the air. 

United’s getting Starlink Wi-Fi: And it sounds pretty good. The first customer flight gets it by May, and the airline plans to upgrade 40 planes a month, with 300+ jets getting it by year’s end. It’s supposedly 50 times faster than the current painfully slow onboard Wi-Fi. Free for MileagePlus members. Now if only the snacks were this impressive.

🛍️ Buy Now, Pay Later is now Buy Now, Regret Publicly: The WSJ (paywalled) says credit bureaus have officially started tracking your “Buy Now, Pay Later” shopping. So yes, that $89 “ergonomic” beanbag you split into four payments? It might now haunt your credit report. Suddenly, Klarna feels a lot less like a fun hack and more like a fiscal breadcrumb trail leading directly to your FICO score.

Oh, this quote: Remember when Roblox’s CEO basically said, “If you can’t watch your kids, don’t let them play Roblox.” That was a PR disaster. So Roblox now lets parents block specific friends from their kid’s account. Basically the digital version of “I don’t like that kid, he’s a bad influence.” 

Not all “Hey, babe” DMs are created equal: Oh, shocker! Two guys are suing OnlyFans because, brace yourself, they weren’t actually chatting with the models they subscribed to. Turns out, some creators outsource fan messages. That flirty “I love your cooking 🥺” message was probably written by Chad in a WeWork. 

🍏 Fresh Apple: It’s time to hit that update button for new Apple features. For iPhones, Priority Notifications helps you see urgent messages first. On your Mac, the Mail app can automatically sort your inbox. Plus, Quick Start lets you set up a new Mac by holding your iPhone nearby. Those last two have been on iPhones and iPads for a while. About time, right? Click here for all the updates.

📞 Scammers posing as IRS agents: Just ask Brad, who got a call saying he misfiled his taxes and owed over $800 or else he could face jail time. The scammer knew his address and wife’s name, and Brad ended up giving him access to his bank account. PSA: The IRS never calls or texts. If it’s legit, it comes by mail.

🎬 Better foreign films? On May 9, AMC is screening the Swedish sci-fi movie Watch the Skies that’s been visually dubbed into English using AI. Instead of just swapping voices, the AI tool TrueSync adjusts the actors’ lip movements to match the English audio perfectly. Say goodbye to cringey, mismatched voice-overs. The first sentence you should learn when learning a foreign language is, “My friend is paying.”

🔮 Dream of taking a phone call from your vacuum cleaner? No? Samsung did it anyway. Their new cordless vacuum, the Bespoke AI Jet Ultra, lets you text and call, and so does their new washer/dryer. What’s next, the fridge? “Hey, handsome, you need eggs, and your kid is calling.”

Strike a pose: Retailers like H&M are now creating AI versions of 30 real models. Yep, digital clones that look just like the real gals and guys. The models still own the rights to their AI twins. Surprise, the paycheck is way smaller than a real photo shoot. And it’s only a matter of time before companies skip the humans altogether and go full-on AI.