$301 million

🪀 RIP, cheap stuff: The days of filling carts with $2 eyebrow stamp kits and glow-in-the-dark toilet lights might be numbered. Global trade crackdowns (like killing the “de minimis” tax loophole) are making it harder for cheap imports from places like Temu and SHEIN to flood U.S. markets. Goodbye, weird little gadgets. You served … some purpose.

👀 Smile, you’re on 15 different cameras: A journalist drove 300 miles across rural Virginia, then filed public records requests to see how often his car was caught on surveillance. The short answer: a lot, proof that even on the quiet backroads, Big Brother is watching and judging your late-night Taco Bell runs.

🖼️ Midjourney V7 is here: It’s the first big update for the image generator in nearly a year, and apparently the AI is much smarter at understanding text prompts, sharper and slightly less cursed when it comes to hands. FYI: It’s an early release, so features like upscaling and retexturing are still missing but should roll out in about two months.

😱 Airbnb nightmare: A couple on vacation found a hidden camera above their bed after a steamy evening. Turns out it was disguised as a smoke detector, complete with night vision and remote access. When they opened it, they found an SD card full of other people’s, uh, vacation memories dating back to 2020. No surprise they’re now suing Airbnb. This hidden camera detector ($39.97, 20% off) is essential.

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💾 Blast from the past: Bill Gates is in his nostalgia feels. To mark Microsoft’s 50th, Bill is letting you download the OG operating system he and Paul Allen whipped up. Fire up your nostalgia engines and see what computing was like when disco was king.

📺 Make your own Netflix? Vimeo just launched a new tool that lets you build your own subscription-based streaming service (no coding required). Because clearly, what the internet needs is one more subscription service. You can offer tiered memberships, stream live events, sell merch and customize the whole thing. They say it’s to give us more control and cash instead of relying on the algorithm, but remember, Vimeo’s still taking their cut. 

📱 Does your kid have a burner phone? We’ve reached the era of middle schoolers running black market tech ops. A dad posted to Reddit after he found out his 12-year-old son was hiding one in a pillow to access apps he wasn’t supposed to be on. Signs to watch for: They’re ignoring the phone you know about, there are sudden dips in data usage, or you notice new devices using the Wi-Fi.

🥴 “What’d you say?” If you find yourself asking this more and more, it’s time to make a change. Forget the hearing aids your grandpa wore; today’s tech is so much better. These hearing aids have two tiny processors that analyze the sound around you to make conversations crystal clear. Incredible. If your ears had a software update, this would be it.

🥷 Another gold bar scam: A Florida woman lost over $280,000 after scammers tricked her into thinking her Social Security number was compromised. A fake federal officer told her to protect her assets by buying gold from a bullion store. They arranged a delivery, gave her a secret “password” and then vanished. PSA: No legit agency asks for gift cards, crypto or undercover missions.

💆🏻‍♀️ Luxury vehicles are turning into spas? Brands like Mercedes, Lincoln and BMW are going all-in on in-car wellness (paywall link). The Lincoln Nautilus, for example, has a “Rejuvenate” program with massage chairs, mood lighting and scent diffusers. Kale yeah, this is great! Because nothing says “I’m thriving” like getting aromatherapy in traffic.