34 seconds

🚨 Two recalls to know about: First, over a million Igloo 90-qt. Flip & Tow rolling coolers, which have been slicing off fingers. They were sold from January 2019 until last month. Full list here. If you’re affected, you can get a free replacement. Next up, a canned tuna recall for Genova, Van Camp’s, H-E-B and Trader Joe’s brands that could cause fatal food poisoning. Return ‘em for a full refund.

What the big print giveth, the small print taketh away: Paramount and YouTube TV couldn’t agree on a renewal contract, so you’ll lose 23 channels today. If you really need CBS, Nickelodeon, MTV, Comedy Central or one of the others, try Tubi for a free trial. Just remember to set a reminder to cancel! If tug-of-war drags on for “an extended period of time,” YouTube will give subs an $8 credit. Gee, thanks. Speaking of, ditch the subscriptions you don’t use. I did, and I used the app that makes it easy: Rocket Money. They find everything and cancel whatever you no longer want.

Operation Level Up: The FBI is calling people who fell for crypto scams to stop them from losing even more money. So far, of 4,300 folks across all 50 states, 76% had no clue they were being scammed. If you get a call, the real agency won’t ask you for money or tell you to move yours. They also won’t request your personal info or try to move your chat to an encrypted app.

💸 Imagine winning the lotto: I bet you have. A Hillsboro, Missouri, couple thought the magical moment was real when someone told them they’d won $17 million. All they had to do was pay taxes upfront. They mailed over $800,000 in cash and gift cards to random addresses until their daughter figured out what was going on. They’re not getting that money back.

It’s everywhere: Hackers uploaded a free survival game to Steam. PirateFi was live for a week on the super-popular gaming site, spreading malware. Today’s cybercriminals have too many tricks up their sleeves. You need real-time protection that’s smarter than they are. My pick, TotalAV, is $19 for the first year and works with Windows PCs, Macs, iPhones and Androids.

🎓 Fake it till you make it: On TikTok, people of all ages are pretending they got into Harvard. The viral videos are funny, but it’s no joke that lawsuits have exposed donors and alumni kids getting special treatment. Speaking of … A Texan went to an Ivy League party on the East Coast. He walks up to a group of young women and asks, “Howdy, which school did y’all go to?” One of the women replied, “Yale.” The Texan asked again loudly, “WHICH SCHOOL DID Y’ALL GO TO?” (I saw you smile!)

🙏 Siri to the rescue: I love stories about tech saving lives. A 70-year-old in Florida had a stroke and couldn’t reach his landline. He spent 48 hours drifting in and out of consciousness, then he crawled into the living room. He yelled for Siri to call his daughter, who then contacted 911. He’s doing well! Most stroke patients need help within an hour. Talk about beating the odds.

Fewer bells, fewer whistles: The average CPU performance is dropping for the first time in 20 years. It’s not because chips are getting weaker. Most folks don’t need a powerhouse processor to check emails and scroll social media, so the cheaper option works just fine.