A criminal’s best asset is his lie ability: A moron from Missouri thought he could land a job by hacking into businesses and offering them cybersecurity help. Spoiler: It didn’t end well. Nicholas Kloster was arrested after he hacked into a health club and bragged online about taking over their security cameras and lowering his membership to $1. The FBI and local police were not amused.

🚦 Cop-out behavior: Two Missouri police officers got busted using traffic stops as a way to see naked pics of women. One former officer reportedly searched 20 different phones last year. He told the victims he was looking at their phones for insurance info, then, if he found racy pics on their devices, he snapped photos of them with his own phone. He and another trooper pleaded not guilty.