How to deal with a cyberstalker
Let me tell you, more and more victims of cyberstalking are reaching out to me for advice using my Ask Kim page. Here’s one note I received recently from P.W. in Oklahoma:
“I’ve been cyberstalked for three years. I recently discovered it was my roommate. I moved out and he launched another attack. He’s on my and my fiance’s phones, Wi-Fi, Bluetooth — everything. He has stolen financial data, pictures, erased accounts, taken over emails and harassed me through VOIP. … He admitted to sitting outside our house all night. I thought he was spying on me. Now I know he was also gaining access to my Wi-Fi. I can’t do this anymore and need expert advice/help terribly.”
This is truly awful. First, it’s always a good idea to file a police report. This way, you have things on record. Unfortunately, the police won’t come into your home and lock down your digital life — but you have me.
The good news: There’s a lot you can do right now to lock out a jerk. The bad news: It’s a lot of work, but I promise you it’s worth it — and it’s so much better than sitting around wondering what your stalker will do next.
Start with a list
What accounts, passwords and devices do you believe he has access to? Sit down and make a list of all you can think of. Check your browser’s saved passwords for inspiration.
One by one, sign out of each account on every device, then change every single password. A password manager will help you generate new, strong passwords no one can guess.
Just to get you thinking, here are some other sites and platforms you should check and update your passwords for:
- Every email account you have.
- Banking, Social Security, 401(k) and other financial sites.
- Social media accounts, along with sites like Nextdoor.
- Cloud storage platforms, including Apple iCloud, Google Drive, Dropbox, along with any online backup accounts.
- Online shopping sites or anywhere else you’ve saved or entered your credit card information (think streaming media).
- Any apps you use on your phone or tablet.
I have steps here to change your password for several major sites, including Amazon, Netflix, Facebook and Spotify.
Upgrade your router
So many people forget just how much info someone can access if they know the login info for your router. Theoretically, they can see what you do online and what devices are connected.
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